Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Sportsman


The Sportsman, aka Martin Mantle, was a poor athlete as a child. His father, some sort of a mad scientist, was hugely disappointed with his son, so he gave him an experimental treatment, injecting him with the RNA of a true athlete. He became a sports star in college but soon discovered that the treatment was killing him. So, equipped with a football helmet with a skull on it, baseball uniform pants, rocket skates, exploding basketballs, poison gas-filled golf balls, buzzsaw tennis rackets, and many terrible sports puns, he set off on a killing spree, taking out the famous athletes that fuel society's obsession with sports.

Pros: Buzzsaw tennis rackets are pretty cool.

Cons: I don't even know where to begin here.

How I'd do it: I guess I'd update "Tom Watson" in the pictured golf joke to "Tiger Woods," for one.

Casting Guesses: Everyone knows TV's Hunter Fred Dryer is the best athlete-turned actor (and the only man in NFL history to record two safetys in a game), but sadly he's past his prime. So I say Vinnie Jones.

Verdict: No, but you might see him in a remake of The Warriors where the Baseball Furies have decided to become more inclusive of other sports.

4 comments:

Robot Devil said...

I dunno... a steroid addicted athlete could make a good 'realistic' bad guy, especially if he moves in Bruce's social circle. a Micheal Vick type
you'd have to tone down the gimmicks and outfit though

Bill said...

So, what, Bruce Wayne goes to a society part where the quarterback for the Gotham Knights is having dog fights? I just don't see it happening.

First said...

I think The Dark Knight proves conclusively that Batman hates dogs anyway.

On another note, when they had DC Vs. Marvel how did they miss out on the opportunity for a Sportsman Vs. SuperPro clash? It writes itself!

Novak said...

It could easily work in a film, but why would you want it to? He's hardly a well known villian.

For it to work you'd just set it up that this kid was mentally abused while he was young by his dad for not being "man enough" or good at sports.

He tries to prove himself to be the best but then gets hooked on steroids or something.

He dad laughs at him for being a failure which makes him snap. He kills his dad, dons a football helmet and heads to the streets causing mindless destruction and killing people that he deems better than him at sport with a large selection of sports equipment.

Bruce Wayne being a bit of a celebrity would likely have friends who are professional sportspeople or something. Who this "Sportsman" targets.

But like I said, it's not really worth making a film about is it? And I doubt he'd be much of a match for Batman to take care of.