Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Sportsman, aka Martin Mantle, was a poor athlete as a child. His father, some sort of a mad scientist, was hugely disappointed with his son, so he gave him an experimental treatment, injecting him with the RNA of a true athlete. He became a sports star in college but soon discovered that the treatment was killing him. So, equipped with a football helmet with a skull on it, baseball uniform pants, rocket skates, exploding basketballs, poison gas-filled golf balls, buzzsaw tennis rackets, and many terrible sports puns, he set off on a killing spree, taking out the famous athletes that fuel society's obsession with sports.
Pros: Buzzsaw tennis rackets are pretty cool.
Cons: I don't even know where to begin here.
How I'd do it: I guess I'd update "Tom Watson" in the pictured golf joke to "Tiger Woods," for one.
Casting Guesses: Everyone knows TV's Hunter Fred Dryer is the best athlete-turned actor (and the only man in NFL history to record two safetys in a game), but sadly he's past his prime. So I say Vinnie Jones.
Verdict: No, but you might see him in a remake of The Warriors where the Baseball Furies have decided to become more inclusive of other sports.